Crazyfool's Column - Pity The Fool Even More

A great mud player once said that the best things come in twos. Sadly, however, he was killed soon afterwards by two horny crows. In this case though, I think it applies. Yes, due to my own disorganised nature, it has taken me so long to get this issue to Karya’s office, I have decided to “reward” you with two editions of my column. One which I wrote back in January and one written today.

We have two new players. One is a sexy ass minx from Austin Texas who is dating our resident mapper and train spotter, Hal, and the other is a player from British Legends called Fiz. Yes Nictoxaf has won over everyone with his unique brand of quick wit and humour and Fiz scares me daily with her leers and general flirtyness. It makes me wonder if there is anyone left on British Legends who hasn’t come over to us....wait hang on....I have been informed that Hal is sitting..alone.....in the Eagles Nest..playing the Griffin..wait. That can't be true. As you all know British Legends doesn’t have anything east of the Narrow Road between lands so there is no griffin...HAAHAHAHAH. Even so, I hear Hal has a big camera. Anyway, I digress.

Gigolo. When most people think of him they imagine him fleeing to me as I ascended to wisdom but for others he is a source of great pride and sexual lust. I received this anonymous e mail just yesterday:

“Cf, I think Gigolo is a fine specimen of a man. His foil hat and collection of X Files VHS videos make me all warm inside. I just wish he would play with my cowboy hat and come stay in my Villa on Royston Lane in..erm..Spain I think”

Erm...now its time for a new section of my column called Where are they now? This week, we look at the life of Heiach now he has left Mud 2. After 2 hugely unsuccessful wiz-runs and some pointless arguing about his bounty, he has changed his sexuality and gone to play..well..probably World of Warcraft or Air Attack or something. I caught up with him earlier this week to get an update:

“Yeah. Im doing OK. To be honest I miss MUD 2 and I would come back if someone would remove my bounty. Also I quit World of Warcraft cos I got a bounty on there too. It doesn’t help that I got fired from my job making Bounty Chocolate Bars. And then I found out my new boyfriend is Boba Fetts son, Julian Fett who is a Bounty Hunter..”

Oh yeah. Also Hawumph’s missus had a baby, I got two new cats and Leak has left. Yes. Leak has left MUD 2. Come on. You miss him. His unique brand of racist rhetoric and toilet humour made him really popular with the ladies of MUD 2. However, as he heads off into the world of poorly made dub music and Skol lager, we salute him. Here are just a few testimonials I managed to find.

“Leak. Im still convinced we are the same person” – Zedar

“Was it you that gave me the bounty?” - Heiach

“Why is am always naked in your stories?” – Cenedra

“Who's Leak?” – Sabretooth

OK. Id better get this to Karya before she loses it. Trust me. Ive seen her “go nuclear” and trust me, me and Turrican still have the burn marks.