Crazyfool's Column - Pity The Fool

If you were to ask anyone on the street what their favourite column was then 24% of them would say mine. It's witty insights in to modern text based games and non bias commentary have won critical acclaim. In fact, I have done so well I am being awarded the “Golden Moustache” from Dr Richard Bartle at a small private ceremony in Epping...Epping.......

OK, time to come clean. None of that was real. My column is the same nonsense and double entendres it always was. A lot has happened since I last wrote. As I have done a separate article on the Mudmeet, I won’t mention it here, very much like the time Hawumph had skid marks on his jeans, we won’t say anything. Although that was very funny, despite the inevitable backlash of anger and humiliation associated with faecal related humour. In fact, I wish we had taken more pictures of it despite the fact it would fail to show how silly he looked confidently walking towards the bar with a huge brown runway all down his lovely boot cut Levi’s. No. NO! I refuse to allow another one of my articles to descend into the maelstrom of Hawumph’s skid marks.

Zedar’s mage. Yes. The rumours are true. Zedar’s lovely bearded mage was cut to ribbons like a dancing magpie wielding a chain saw. The killer? Everyones favourite shop lifter Armand. I said shop. OK? Those rumours are false. It may look that way in the You Tube video but I can assure you, he’s all man but yes, I know. He does wear pink shirts and is often seen riding a unicycle around Brighton but hey, haven’t we all woken up naked next to Vulnax at some point? Anyway, the fight was organised by everyones third favourite drunk, Droo. Droo has done some pretty controversial stuff in his long mud career, most famously waking up next to Vulnax covered in honey with only a membership card of the local Pigeon fanciers club to hide his shame. But this time he has surpassed himself. Armand now sits 7k from wiz but will he use his mage? Probably not but that doesn’t stop him from being a thoroughly nice chap.

Royston’s rapping career is over. The tears flowed down my face like vomit after a night out with Foddy but I have to accept it. Such hits as “I died to the dragon, but I aint getting no drugz” and the seminal “My hoez are with Heiach's Pimpz” have amused and scared us in equal measure. But he is hanging up his cow boy hat and is now pursuing a career as a Wrestler. Sources tell me this move is laughable and said that he would have more luck marrying a crow. Besides that, his mud career is going well. But, one area concerns us all and that is his inability to keep a persona alive for more than 5 minutes. Good news. After the complete success of my previous Church Hall campaign, I am now starting the “For the love of Christ Royston, stop urinating all over the Dragon” campaign. Support so far has been outstanding...

“Well, if I could keep my shirt on, I would support him.” – Throwaway

“Who's Royston?” – Turrican

“Its a great idea. Royston is such a hunk and it guts me to my core when I see him die...and I fancy Hal” - Cenedra.

We have a new highlife. He calls himself Authentic and has already caused a ruckus in The Land. My sources tell me he stole Hal’s right to open The Redwood during social gatherings and bash’s. Only time will tell with this one but having already made mage, he better watch he doesn’t his driveway pooed on by Nero....again....

Well, thats it fool fans. Im off to write...oh look another article for Muddled Times....you might wonder when my life went off the rails...probably when I woke up next to Vulnax....

Crazyfool