More Fun in the Mysterious Land of Acornia

Part II

Continued from Foddy and the Mysterious Land of Acornia in Issue 32

They were dressed in red tunics and both carried small swords. One of them quietly coughed to gain his attention.

Foddy span round in shock and glanced down at the two strangers.

“Do not be alarmed Foddy. We are your friends” said one.

“Who ... who are you” stammered Foddy looking visibly shaken.

“We are the Shrew people of Shrewsbury” said the other as he took a seat by the VHS collection of The Hurricanes, the 1990’s CITV show about a football team that also double up as detectives, super heroes and I believe they also once saved the world from a nuclear holocaust.

“We have been waiting for this day for a long time. Our war with the Squirrel home world has been going well and now that they have taken a new queen, it is our time to strike and end it once and for all” said the other one as he munched some food, whatever Shrews eat I'm not sure ... probably flies or grass.

Foddy put his head into his hands and then suddenly stood up quickly.

“I don’t understand. Queen? That’s my wife. We met at a mudmeet and had a will they/wont they relationship for a few years until we finally got married. How can she be the queen of the Squirrels?”

The two shrews looked at each other.

“Your wife has been destined to be the queen since before you were married, before the various mudmeets you attended ... even before she started playing Mudii.co.uk.”

“Did you ever notice any strange marks on her?” said the other while he poured himself a drink.

“Apart from the huge acorn tattoo on her back and also the fact she liked to bury nuts in the yard, there was nothing weird”.

The two shrews looked at each other.

“If only there had been a clue eh?”

“Look, Foddy. We can help you. In return, you must help us destroy the Acornia once and for all. With the home world gone, we can get back to living in peace and probably start a war with the Canyon of the Voles.”

Foddy walked into the kitchen and poured himself a scotch. He was shaking now and nowhere near the same standard of man he was when he won that Physical game on the Crystal Maze. You know, the one in future zone with the spider’s eggs and the web.

“OK ... what do I need to do?” he asked.

“We can send you to Acornia. But you will need help. We have chosen 5 companions that you can take with you. We will summon them here!”

With that, he brought out his rod (no Throwaway, not THAT rod) and banged it on the floor three times. A huge flash and suddenly the room filled with light and noise. After several minutes of confusion, the room settled down and in the centre were five bodies, four males and one female who was naked.

“My god, it's my close friends from MUDii. Royston, Hal, Doughnut, Blib and Cenedra.”

“Why am I naked?” asked Cenedra as she slipped around in baby oil.

The men looked on in awe.

Will they ever stop watching Cenedra and drooling? What on earth is going on? Do you care? You bet the Ravens bum you do. Tune in next issue for more wacky nut related antics!